I don’t want to be an option for someone that I make a priority.
Who am I kidding? He doesn’t want me. I am solely a play thing until his ex returns.
And now he’s feeding me lies in order to save my feelings.
That’s the only perception I see this from.
I just want to lie in bed and cry and play Sims and not think about him.
This fucking sucks. I’m tired of getting my heart broken. I don’t want to open up to him.
I need to feel wanted by the people that I care about. I just don’t.
I can barely think about anything except him. I know I deserve better, and that I shouldn’t stick around, but I want to be with him more than anything. I want to feel his lips on mine, his fingers locked with mine, my fingers running through his hair, his arms around me. I want to be with him.
I don’t understand what the fuck the problem is.
Don’t FUCKING tell me that you like me and that I’m awesome and then flirt and send cute FUCKING pictures to my best friend when I could clearly appreciate them more.
I’m so fucking tired of being used for my body. FUCK THIS FUCKING SHIT.
Why can’t people understand that there could be literally nothing wrong with my life and I would still be depressed, because it’s a chemical malfunction in my brain, not a result of my immediate surroundings and the situations I find myself in?
Also, “finding God” will not be the cure-all for my depression, anxiety, eating disorder, and bipolar disorder.
FUCKING THIS. My mom cannot grasp this concept.